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[fantod]

TEXT | AUDIO | VIDEO | ACTION

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[fantod]

Can you suck yourself off?

Oooh, that's a fun game. You're right, iron is too strong.

What material am I most like? You have a minute to decide. GO

[mostlyajerk]

Gentlemen don't stretch and tell.

Sodium hydroxide.

Easy.

[fantod]

Because of how irritating I am?

Cute.

idk about these sorts of things, I flunked science, but I do know that you're definitely some kind of acid.

[mostlyajerk]

You like being irritating. I guess everyone needs a hobby.

I'd choose mercury.

[fantod]

I don't have much else going on, pissing people off fields me.

Well, you are toxic but I don't think you're as poisonous as you wish you were.

[mostlyajerk]

You are not even pissing me off today. Other people are.

Maybe I've just never wanted to poison you.

[fantod]

Let me guess - it's work, right? So one of your team is the cause. Shame, I always love when it's me <3

I find it hard to believe you've never tried. I dunno. Seems fake.

[mostlyajerk]

Darling, you are just not that important to me.

But, yes, I have to edit someone's work to make it publishable...

'Electrons in an atom occupy quantised energy levels. Then they just kinda sorta get more energy, like when you drink three Red Bulls in a go and are just all: GO!!!, and that excites the electrons WHEEEEE! 🤪😁🤩 to a much more dope energy level, yo. These excited states are short-lived awwww 😥😕 and THEN THEY JUST KINDA GO AWAY?!?! by letting out that rad electromagnetic radiation in the visible or ultraviolet (more like ultracool, amirite?!?!) region. omg that should be the names of the new pokemon gen, just, like 'ultraviolet' and maybe... dopegreen... gotta workshop that one but the legendary should have electromagnetic radiation power'

[fantod]

I AM HURT. Hate me more, you coward.

I like it, you know. I think it's the first time I actually understood something. Maybe all you nerds should write with emojis and redbull metaphors.

[mostlyajerk]

Eh. You are too pathetic, stickman.

Sure. And maybe we should all just have the most fun attitude, so no work ever actually gets done.

Ugh. You would like him.

[fantod]

I have more power than you'd think, princess. Don't underestimate me.

Maybe no one likes you cause you're anti fun.

Do you ever just enjoy yourself? EVER?

[mostlyajerk]

Princess? Seriously?

Yes, I enjoy myself sometimes. But work is not about fun.

Although I actually do enjoy my work, so I don't know. I just get enjoyment out of different things.

Less nacho parties near sensitive equipment.

[fantod]

You'd be a very pretty one, promise <3

Science is kind of dull and dry, I'm sure people aren't trying to personally offend you by making their work fun.

Though I do think nachos should not be that close to sensitive equipment. We have a no food near tech policy at Oscorp buuuuut we also have a wacky tie day.

[mostlyajerk]

Science is alive and fascinating. Science can right so many wrongs, correct injustices and do it in a rational way. It's a way to make the world make sense. I understand it's not the same for you, but science is anything but dull. Science is potential.

These days, here, there is no tie required. Or anything other than a t-shirt with a dumb slogan.

[fantod]

Science is elitist and cold. I get that we need it and it's good but all the things I care about, science can't seem to help me. Science cares about making the same iphone again and again or experimenting needlessly to prove they can do something.

I mean what's the point of your particle accelerator? What does that do for people besides yourself?

Everything we do as Oscorp is for our monetary benefit.

[mostlyajerk]

Ideally, it would hopefully provide clean and affordable energy to people and be replicable on a larger, world-wide scale, to benefit all of humanity equally.

Additionally, with synchrotrons it can be used for a variety of applications, including drug development, material analysis, molecular crystallography, and even possibly cancer treatment. We already know that, but with this, we are hoping to probe the basic questions of the universe regarding matter, energy, space, and time, potentially finding even more ways to use it for greater benefit.

Or it's just rad. 🤟

[fantod]

Sounds like a big eye sore personally. I've seen Star Labs, it's not that pretty. Update the décor first.

I never got why you need two of them but I'm sure it's good for Wells' ego.

And yours :D

[mostlyajerk]

It'd be a major accomplishment that would earn recognition in the field. That would mean that I could get funding for further projects.

I don't care about money, but, yes, I do want to accomplish something.

I want to do some good.

[fantod]

What kind of stuff do you want funding for?

Most funding these days just goes to military projects. That's like 90% of what my dad did. He said it was where the big money was.

[mostlyajerk]

My specialty is sonic vibrations. Unfortunately, a lot of what I would be interested in researching could be for military use.

I want to avoid that, so the more renowned I am in the field, the more likely I am to get civil funding.

[fantod]

Good luck. I don't think you'll ever escape the military in your field.

What can you do with sonic vibrations that isn't like... exploding someone's head?

[mostlyajerk]

I know. I initially got contacted by the military when I was still in middle school.

A lot of things, practically, even more things in theory. Hearing is how I initially got into it.

In theory, it could be used for flight, for detection and identification of other vibrations which has a lot of useful applications and it could also stimulate responses in cells and nerves to facilitated a certain response.

I believe that it could have medical applications by stimulating cells to heal and regenerate.

[fantod]

Huh. Cool.

I know that sonic is a hedgehog...

It's cool that you could do all of that stuff in theory but science is all about the money. If there's more money to be had in the military services, that's always gonna be easier. Maybe if you could run your own company, I guess. Then you could control where the funding goes.

[mostlyajerk]

You know I'm never going to run my own company.

I doubt I'd really want to either. Business is dull, dry and depressing.

[fantod]

You're telling me.

You want my company?