Open Post

[fantod]

TEXT | AUDIO | VIDEO | ACTION

Comments

[mostlyajerk]

People wanting to fuck me isn't the same as people liking me. But that's fine. He likes me.

Then just go out with me some time. It's not hard to get laid.

[fantod]

Feels the same, doesn't it? If you're that worried, baby trap him. idk how to do that as a guy - steal a baby?

I'd have to use my private jet to hang out with you. Such effort. My life is so hard.

[mostlyajerk]

He is definitely not the baby type. Neither am I. But I like the out of the box approach.

You shouldn't, it's bad for the environment. Everything is. See, I need to work on clean flight technology.

[fantod]

Try telling him that you're suicidal and you'll kill yourself if he leaves you? I've seen it work before...

The environment is fuck.

Let me use my jet. It's probably cleaner than taking my car anyway.

[mostlyajerk]

...and I thought I had dysfunctional relationships. Well. I still did. Whatever, no. This is working, it's just that I don't trust things to go well. And, yes, I am insecure and jealous, but I'm working on it.

I thought you were too lazy for even your jet, so this is all hypothetical anyway.

[fantod]

I think it's part of your charm, honestly. You're intense and angry all the time, it's cute.

Yeah, I dunno if I'll swing by central city. Maybe if the particle accelerator works, I will come. I'm sure I'm supposed to - tech company and all.

[mostlyajerk]

That makes one (1) guy who finds it charming.

Probably. I'm not involved in PR, for obvious reasons, but I'm sure Oscorp has been invited to The Night.

[fantod]

And my judgement is garbage so make of that what you will.

Exciting. I'll bring you condoms and lube <3 you want ribbed or non-ribbed?

[mostlyajerk]

I'll go with the usual assumption that I'm charmless, thanks.

Pft. I don't know what your targets are going to be into.

[fantod]

They're a gift to help secure your relationship.

I know how to reel in my type. Lots of money, booze and asking them if they're down to fuck. If they're not into that, their judgement is too solid - hence, not my type.

[mostlyajerk]

What is your type? I mean, aside from shallow enough.

[fantod]

I don't know.

I once around guys I like, I'm pretty open.

I do like 'em strong.

[mostlyajerk]

I mean.

Stronger than you?

[fantod]

Then it's a low bar, dumbass.

Strong by normal people standard.

[mostlyajerk]

Yeah. I mean, I can lift you.

Though my coworker was complaining about how he is the only guy working here who doesn't have abs.

[fantod]

It's not an accomplishment when I'm this scrawny.

Your coworkers are lucky. I hope you do yoga in full view.

[mostlyajerk]

I do it at home. Or before anyone shows up at work. Or after they've left.

My coworker did walk in on me the other night, that's when he went off on a rant about abs.

[fantod]

I bet he fell into the temptation that is your manly abs.

Take it as a compliment.

You're turning all the boys gay.

[mostlyajerk]

I assume he's bi and in denial.

He is also the worst, so people love him.

[fantod]

Make out with him and assert your workplace dominance.

Then you will be the worst.

Lifehack.

[mostlyajerk]

I'll get right on that.

You are a brat. And I have to work.

Let me know when you're here.